会考试的猛犸象

　　大学生村官田野，在苗家阿妹石玲的帮助下，从“茶王”石天柱那里学得黄金茶的制作技术，充分利用当地旅游资源优势，因地制宜脱贫脱单，帮助九里乡八洞村村民建立美丽和谐家园的动人故事

　　货车司机马汉强（成龙）赴美向移居美国的骠叔祝贺新婚之喜，知晓其打算婚后与黑人妻子过安静的晚年生活，经营多年的超级市场也已卖给了年轻寡妇Elaine（梅艳芳）经营。由于一见面就对Elaine有好感，马汉强主动协助Elaine打点起业务来。
　　不久，以Johnny为首的一帮朋克党开始恶意捣乱破坏超市，面对他们，马汉强面无惧色勇敢地用起了自己的拳头，同时不忘晓他们以人生大义，然而这波未平那波又起，马汉强又被卷入了钻石赃物被盗的漩涡，受到了黑手党的追杀。

　　长久以来，剧作家大卫（约翰·库萨克 John Cusack 饰）都过着郁郁不得志的生活，艺术家特有的清高让他对如今腐败混乱的话剧界充满了失望之情。为了讨好情妇奥利芙（詹妮弗·提莉 Jennifer Tilly 饰），黑帮大佬看中了名不见经传的大卫的剧本想要投资，作为前提条件 ，大卫必须让奥利芙饰演主角。虽然奥利芙唠叨的个性和蹩脚的演技让大卫深感抓狂，但在利益面前，他痛苦的屈服了。就这样，一个奇怪的剧组诞生了。
　　剧本的漏洞，女演员们之间的矛盾，男主演日益肥胖的身材都让大卫感到绝望，但令他惊奇的是，一直监视着奥利芙的保镖契奇（查兹·帕尔明特瑞 Chazz Palminteri 饰）在无意中展现了过人的编剧才能。在契奇的帮助下，被改写的剧本居然获得了盛大的成功，与此同时，契奇对由自己操刀的剧本展现出的病态执着和剧组里混乱的男女关系让大卫陷入了另一个困境……

　　一个土头土脑,衣着朴素及武功高强的唐龙由中国踏足香港,他继承了叔父一笔遗产--锦江大饭店.龙不明白饭店生意很好,但只有小量营利,原来恶霸黑柴及他手下时到饭店收巨额陀地费.另一方面,地产商一直虎视锦江饭店铺址,并用巨款请来凶徒狂牛及几个手下来向饭店进行捣乱.牛行动失败,被地产商责骂,牛便将这些愤怒,发泄在唐龙女友翠儿身上,混乱中,翠惨死,龙来迟一步,抱着翠的尸首誓死为她报仇.

　　故事发生在云南西双版纳一个美丽的傣寨。小姑娘依欢（林甜 饰）和阿妈（黄志玲 饰）、外公（杨宝河 饰）焦急的等待着三年前外出挣钱的阿爸（毕远晋 饰）和哥哥艾拉（李艳波 饰），因为十四岁的哥哥到了出家当和尚的日子，这是傣家男孩子成长为男子汉不可或缺的经历。艾拉回来后，带着妹妹亲手捏的小白象，献给了庙里的菩萨。在一次无意间巡山中，兄妹俩救起一头受伤的小白象，他们对它呵护有加，并给小象起名西娜。村长（林昌文 饰）带人在寨子里搭起象房，从此西娜有了自己的家。阿爸赌钱亏了本，赌场老板让他把西娜偷出来卖掉，利欲熏心的阿爸不听妈妈和外公的规劝，给儿子用了催眠药，把西娜偷走了。艾拉和妹妹踏上了寻象之路......

　　李小央（秦昊 饰）、刘家毅（何润东 饰）和高东华（周一围 饰）是大学时代的死党兼舍友，彼此之间感情十分要好。李小央一直默默喜欢着名为陈心（张梓琳 饰）的漂亮学妹，可是陈心只当李小央是对她关怀备至的大哥哥。
　　刘家毅毕业之后成为了一名导游，他和女友杨菲（张歆艺 饰）交往多年，决定共同携手步入婚姻的殿堂。哪知道就在这个节骨眼上，一位名叫邓雨琪（黄灿灿 饰）的女游客走进了刘家毅的生活。那边厢，高东华和田小雅（田园 饰）结婚已经七年之久，在这七年里，高东华没少偷腥，但他自认为聪明过人，以为妻子一直被蒙在鼓中。然而，一次偶然之中，田小雅的一个秘密颠覆了高东华的整个世界。

　　黑道大哥方叔（柯俊雄 饰）为人刚正耿直，忠勇仁义，为道上的兄弟所敬仰。当年他为保护兄弟，一个人顶下所有罪名，从此在监狱中度过了几十年岁月。出狱后，周围一切早已变了模样，当年的小弟们垂垂老矣，或退休，或经商，俨然与黑道没有任何干系。而黑社会的价值观也发生巨大改变，年轻的黑社会完全不把仁义放在眼里，在他们看来金钱胜过一切。
　　方叔知道属于自己的时代早已远去，莫不如静下心来过好余下的日子。但他的女儿阿丽因疏于父爱而过分叛逆，成为一个小混混的马子。为了保护女儿，方叔不得不重新进入这已经变得十分陌生的纷乱江湖……

　　馨蔚是被外星人植入了舒瑶的记忆并指派到地球执行命令的机器人，目的是为了寻找人类的弱点，好为将来的大肆侵略做准备。秦彦认为馨蔚就是舒瑶，想尽办法接近她试图唤醒她的情感。馨蔚被两人爱情的回忆打动，放弃了入侵地球的计划，而伙伴刘思齐却向秦彦和他们的孩子下了毒手，解药只有一瓶，该救谁，馨蔚陷入绝境之中…

　　A Medieval Knight resurrects to fulfill his vow and bestow a blood-thirst vengeance upon the kindred spirits of those who betrayed him long ago. In the course of one night, identities will be revealed, destinies met, and a poetic justice of the macabre maniacally served. Here lies a tale of passion, loyalty, deceit, betrayal...and revenge. They were Warriors. They were Crusaders. Under the leadership of the righteous GREGOIRE, this band of brothers in the Holy Order of the Knights Templar selflessly fought back-to-back, defending GOD and the "True Cross." Until one dark night of utter betrayal... Glorious was their victory that night, gold their find. The spoils were to be taken to their Grandmaster for use in furthering their "Cause." Yet greed had infected one of their number - RENAULT - and under the influence of the demon of lust, he embraced and fiendishly persuaded others to help him carry out his nefarious plan of betrayal. Among those whose hearts he blackened was the already resentful MENAS, envious of his brother MELKON, the man famed as being both the greatest swordsman in all of Europe and the right hand of Gregoire. The following morning Renault's heinous plot went into effect and Gregoire, Melkon and their beloved steward KOKO were ambushed and executed for purposes of greed. But as he lay dying, Gregoire vowed his revenge. Ten lifetimes of excess Renault and his murdering compatriots would enjoy. And then he would return to deliver their souls to Hell for all of eternity. Ten lifetimes of excess... The centuries pass and after 700 years, the allotted time of the evildoers nears culmination. One dark, stormy night, the Crusader, upon his steed, resurrects to execute his pledge of vengeance upon the now kindred spirits of those who victimized him so very long ago. The stage is set for retribution as an eclectic group assembles at a secluded manor home under the guise of a promised "fantasy weekend" to fulfill personal desires. JAKE, the "events coordinator" will have his hands full playing host to his young guests; CELINE, the alluring and promiscuous Eastern-European, ASHLEY, the contemptuous yet beautiful socialite, AMY, the innocent and meek girl-next-door, HURCOS, the predatory Middle-Eastern playboy, and JAPONIKO, the uninvited and mysterious Asian minimalist. SHAUNA, the abrasive Irish cook, and her cohort in crime BENOIT, the bone-idle English caretaker, along with the enigmatic PRIEST and the benevolent SHOPKEEPER, round out this unusual and extremely colorful cast of characters. Jake assigns the position of assistant recreational coordinator to Amy, and as she reads from an obscure storybook, the tale of Gregoire and his righteous band of Templar Knights animates, and the story of betrayal is reenacted for the guests. Blood will flow excessively as the cursed and unsuspecting kindred spirits meet their imminent destinies one-by-one during the Crusader's maniacal reprisal.

　　陈惠惠（胡忻 饰）是含着金汤匙出生的千金大小姐，父母一手打点好了她的终身大事，这让陈惠惠感到十分愤怒。为了反抗父母之命，陈惠惠选择了离家出走，前往上海，在那里，隐藏着她的爷爷和奶奶之间的一段动人的感情。
　　途中，陈惠惠结识了名叫陈大宝（陈小春 饰）的青年。陈大宝和朋友阿土（梁志强 饰）共同发明了能增强手机信号的机器，他希望能凭借此发明申请到专利，在上海拼搏出一片属于自己的天空。谁知道，陈惠惠和陈大宝刚一来到上海就双双遭遇了滑铁卢，陈惠惠丢掉了现金和信用卡，陈大宝的发明让他血本无归。走投无路的两人相依为命，准备去投奔陈大宝的朋友小康（周杰 饰）。

　　影片讲述了以师老秧子为首的土匪的故事。